No.

Fortune. Cowsay.

Step one is to let it relax so you’re dealing with a calm system instead.

Yeah but you have an unskippable 30-second ad whenever you wake up.

Can’t wait for the stories about how the fillings are tuned for the new 8G networks and caused COVID-29.

Interesting definition of “fixed”.

Let me put on my surprised face.

Every successful flight with him on board is a missed opportunity for those pilots to do the world a favor. They’ve made their choice.

Maybe he’ll get bored with retirement, have a mid-no-life crisis and the resulting breakdown will generate some interesting news stories.

Quick, blame some missing dead guy for it.

And your hair will grow back like it used to.

I think I know the suspect.

Oops, accidentally deleted my DNA instead and now I’m melting.

It only seems that way because it is.

I’m worried that stupid is our best case scenario. For all we know, the rest are stupid plus a cattle prod to the junk so might as well stick with the one that isn’t currently zapping my balls.

Probably just has to drool into the collection jar considering how much time these guys spend sucking themselves off.

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

Well done.

What did the farmer say when he found three deep holes in his field?

Well, well, well, look what we have here.