I’m going to have to download an app to use my zippers, aren’t I?

I’ve always been afraid of being killed by a drunk driver, or dying while at work. Now both of those things can happen at the same time.

It’s the worst day to be on the internet.

I don’t doubt it, so I’m drinking my fill while I can.

A slideshow would be great when my hands are full of toys

All I use reddit for is porn now, so the ads are really easy to spot. Like if I see someone trying to show me tupperware when I was just looking at goth girls and femboys, I know to keep scrolling.

“Hey, let’s go eat the rich, soldier!”

-Karlach from my daydreams