Boomer Humor Doomergod

It’s been this way since I bought my first Performa back in 95.

I got some RAM and a dozen Zip disks for Christmas instead of

I haven’t been this shocked since I found out the original McGruff voice actor was arrested with a bunch of guns and weed plants

They used to, but it didn’t boost ad engagement so they stopped.

I’ve used a manual grinder like this for years and years. They’re built like tanks.

Good on ya for keeping a treasure alive

1. Programmers invent AI
2. Executives use AI to replace programmers
3. Executives rehire programmers for thousands of dollars an hour to fix AI mistakes.

Nah, the rocks are fine. It’s putting seeds in the ground that’s the problem. That’s how the seeds get you to do their bidding.

I feel barely human most days, because we are all collectively heinous, so I must have missed that.

Agriculture was a mistake.

Ketchup on a burrito that you don’t know is called a burrito is up there with putting ketchup on a well-done steak

It’s so American to be ashamed of the world laughing at us, and not at all the heinous shit we’ve done.

Back in the 90s my friend and I would play Descent against each other via modem. I had a 100Mhz processor, he had a 66Mhz processor. If I came in blasting with a rapid fire weapon his machine couldn’t render fast enough and he’d get blown up.

I played Drug Wars on my TI-89 almost 25 years ago which sounds like the same game but with better graphics.

If you’re lucky it might be cut with something cheaper like pure cocaine

No, we sell water usage data to water companies, so they know when to put water in the pipes!

That printer is a 2000’s HP LaserJet

I learned more about how computers work from them than I did in all my schooling.

Most of the best QA folks I’ve worked with had teenage children.

I imagine dealing with developers is similar.

At 4:30 pm on my last day at my previous job my boss asked me to email a customer something.

I left that shit on read

My fiancé works at a vet clinic that uses it and she says the doctors love it. The customers, however, don’t like that there’s an AI that listens to their visit so they just say it’s “software”

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

I was briefly employed at a firm that maintained the sales commission software for a large telecom firm.

It was 1.5 million lines of VB6, though VB8 was already three years old. Nobody knew all of it, so they couldn’t possibly rewrite it to handle all the edge cases and special incentives we kept having to add.

Except maybe the lone QA person, who would frequently begin sobbing at her desk. And we could all hear it because it was an open plan office and we weren’t allowed to wear headphones.

That job was so bad I quit and began freelancing.