Destroyer of Worlds 3000

I’ve given up on humanity, but not open source for some reason

explain this to a person in 1998

Please, we need to charge 3x retail for 1/2 the normal amount of usable RAM because of reasons. Also, our cutting edge products are as upgradable as a styrofoam cup.

sent from iPhone

At the as you exit filthy public grinder at Costco

They almost had me on the hook right up to when they decided tiered and throttled plans were the way to go. its essentially a hyped up cellphone plan. so glad I bailed. Also, fuck muskrat.

Apple:

We had two children. Conner (yay! so handsome!!😍) and…erm, ugh…Billy. We don’t play favorites! Conner gets driven to private school, plays lacrosse, and has a tutor. Billy takes the bus to public school across town, has a sack lunch, and we broke his legs when he learned to walk because he was smaller than Conner.

every word of this title lowers the stakes of whatever the fuck this is about