Please dont take this seriously guys its just a dumb meme I haven’t written a single line of code in half of these languages
Someone do java hahaha
Problem -> AbstractProxyFactory<SolutionProvider<BaseProblem>>
The line between problem and solution for C should be 30 miles long.
It lacks a lot of malloc() 🤣
and not enough frees
…with 19 bugs 9 of which are exploitable.
And one bug that one person found once but is not reproducible
So the developers claim, but the users still encounter it, and the bug report stays open for 22 years … possibly more.
Why must you hurt me this way.
Perl:
Problem -> $ @ % <=> =()= => ; qw() ])} select(undef, undef, undef, 0.25) =~ tr/.?\w\sREg3xfr0mhe|l/foo/g; &homebrewedFunction(%) -> solution
Source: I mainly code in perl. I like it, but I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not a beautiful language.
I was about to make an entry for lisp here, but I don’t have enough parentheses to draw the path to the solution.
https://www.foo.be/docs/tpj/issues/vol4_4/tpj0404-0015.html
The Perl Poetry Contest - The Perl Journal, Winter 1999
#!/usr/bin/perl
#
# asylum.pl
# by Harlclose (youreyes);
bind (yourself, fast);while ($narcosis) {
exists $to($calm);
not calm;
}accept the, anesthesia;
seek the, $granted, $asylum’
and wait;stat ically;
unlink and listen (in, $complicity);
for (a, little) {
system (“sync hronicity”);
}Be honest: you just mashed your fist on the keyboard, didn’t you?
Perl is write-only code. Larry Wall raised a monkey’s paw and asked for a language that works the way programmers want. So most Perl is the first thing someone tried, unfiltered by rigid syntax putting your thoughts in order, compiler warnings bringing side effects to mind, or even names forcing you to decide what a variable is. An uncommented Perl script is raw brain patterns displayed as ASCII.
Thank god it runs like crap. We’d be in so much trouble if it was fast. Optimized C isn’t exactly gorgeous, but any project that compiles proves someone looked at the code more than once.
I love the term “write-only code”, it’s perfect. I used to love Perl as it felt like it flowed straight from my brain into the keyboard. What a free and magical language.
So it turned out I had ADHD. Took meds, went back to C/++ with renewed appreciation, haven’t touched Perl since as it horrifies me to look at it. What a nightmare of dangling references and questionable typing. Any language that allows you to cast a string to a function and call it really needs to sit down and think about what it’s doing.
So it turned out I had ADHD.
Genuine LOL. Yeah… yeah, that’s Perl in a nutshell. Creating Perl: ‘why aren’t all languages like this?!’ Editing Perl: ‘oh.’
I believe
eval
would like a word with you…As I said,
C/++ with renewed appreciation
No such thing as eval in non-interpreted languages. Unless you’re crazy enough to invoke the compiler and exec() the result.
I used eval too in my Perl days which is why I specifically called it out. IMO any time you see eval used there should be another, more proper way to do it.
I was hired twice to write Perl, both times switched my department to something else after a few years.
Perl is good for command line processing, and absolutely god awful read-only magic hacks. Nothing else.
Perl is fine, provided that you never have to touch someone elses code.
Or yours
No. My code is perfect. It’s all of the others who write bullshit.
- Every perl dev ever
I personally never understood how anyone could find Perl appealing or even “good” to program in, probably because I could never understand wtf the code was meant to do
Over the top tone: “Pretty sure that won’t compile.
$EVAL_ERROR
modulo what you get from the filehandle called=
isn’t an lvalue that can be put through the Goatse operator that I’m aware of.”But seriously(?), I’m almost certain that’s not how that would be parsed.
=
isn’t a valid bareword, so Perl would choke on the spaceship operator not being a term… I think.After testing… It’s worse. I think it’s parsing
<>
as theglob
operator and=
as a filespec.For those who don’t know Perl:
Because of its appearance,
<=>
really is called the spaceship operator (at least, when it can be parsed as an operator and not whatever happened above).=()=
by comparison has unofficially been called Goatse. If you don’t know what Goatse is, find out at your own risk. If you do know, you can see why this particular pseudo-operator was given that name.And if you’re still reading,
=()=
is a pseudo-operator because it’s not actually parsed as part of the syntax. It’s literally an assignment operator=
followed by an empty list()
followed by another assignment operator=
, providing list context to the outside of the equals signs that wouldn’t otherwise be there.[Why are you still still reading?] Context is important in Perl. If a function returns a list of values (which is something Perl functions can do) and you try to store the result in a scalar variable, replacing the usual
=
with=()=
will store the number of elements returned rather than the last element of the list.It’s not supposed to be compilable. It’s more intended as a list of weird looking (but valid) perl stuff.
As for the goatse operator, I’ve mostly used it for counting amount of regex matches.
Oh, and I forgot the diamond operator. Added.
C --> segfault --> new problem
Sry, the best I can do on mobile
It’s good
🙉 it’s perfect!
It’s ironic that the illustration for JavaScript is probably the most realistic and best solution IRL. In the sense that a lot of what problem solving is (which is a big part of software engineer) is breaking a big problem into smaller problems. And you continue doing this until each problem is solvable in a short period of time.
JavaScript sucks though as a language.
I thought it was a jab at all the NPM packages
Each npm package import will be future maintenance hell.
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
JavaScript is a great language until you ask it to do more than toggle a div or send a request to the server
You’re completely correct. But what I meant by that graphic is “poor solutions leading to more problems”, not “breaking down problems into smaller ones”. It was inspired by a cube drone comic that made the same complaint, but I can’t find that particular comic now
Typescript is amazing though.
Typescript is wasted on JS. Currently getting a JS certification while porting an action script 3 project to JS, ActionScript 3 was the better language.
I guess I have to defend this one. I personally think Typescript is the better language compared to typed Python or Ruby (two comparable languages based on how they are all used). Modern Javascript actually have a lot of nice language features, the only issue is the lack of types. Typescript doesn’t entirely solve the problem but it’s a decent attempt at it. A good typescript repo is decently readable, testable and performant enough for most use cases.
missing the stage of C where it’s all incomprehensible bitfucking with comments like “this works, i do not know why it works, do not touch this”
I had this in CSS.
CSS isn’t as bad these days if you use Flexbox. Debugging floats and absolute/relative positioning was a nightmare in comparison.
On the other hand, it made webpages way less flexible.
Like yesterday (i have the browser not in fullscreen, for reasons) on my 16" fullhd notebook, webdev couldn’t imagine that someone would use his site in a ~1000px browser window, sidebars left and right, the main content about 20 characters wide squeezed inbetween. So i pressed f12 and deleted the sidebars. But the content was still 20em wide, because of flexbox.
Real fast inverse square root algorithm hours
That one is not that complicated if you don’t think about the math. It’s basically just if we interpret the float as int and add a magic number we have a good estimation.
From what I remember at least, it’s been a little while since I implemented it.
I was more thinking of the comments which are pretty much exactly what you said (“incomprehensible bit hacks” followed by “what the FUCK?”)
IIRC also relying on how floating-point is basically scientific notation and the most-significant bits are the exponent.
And most importantly, relying on how a sloppy answer works just fine. The most important skill in game development is cheating.
The most important skill in game development is cheating.
Makes me feel better about my own game dev attempts lmao.
C should show some overflow corruption of the problem graphic.
python is like that. someone waay smarter than you have already done this 10 years ago.
Idk I still like writing my own stuff purely pythonic when I can. Pythons syntax is the most “fun” and “natural” for me so I find it fun. Like doin a sudoku puzzle
I can’t get over the load-bearing whitespace.
I agree, whether or not it is good or bad, or readability concerns over nested braces. I fundamentally hate invisible delimiters. If it matters, make it visible. We have so many ascii characters, why not just borrow a few?
Indentation is visible, and much more so than braces.
This is the best way I’ve ever heard this described lol. You get used to it so fast, it’s really simple. Just indent your code like you’re supposed to 🤷🏻♂️
Does “like you’re supposed to” mean with tabs, or with spaces?
Because if someone else disagrees you are not going to have fun with their code.
PEP8 is clear about that.
Who TF codes with tabs? All the editors I know input spaces when pressing tab anyway.
I would not have fun in any language if someone inputted actual tabs and their tab size was different from mine. Chances are my linter would have told me, regardless of language used!
I have worked with OS projects in C and not even those were tab formatted.
Why the fuck does anyone use spaces when tabs mean everyone uses the same tab size as you? That’s what they’re for!
Yeah, okay. Tell that to every code editor’s defaults and every open source projects source code that I have read.
Encountering tab indented files is like encountering ANSI encoded files or /r/n newline’d files. It’s not how it should be done. Sorry.
Spaces are there to ensure that everyone sees the same, tabs have issues with internal indentation of function declaration and the sort. Yeah it indents like correctly, but then you do need spaces to indent vertically called functions correctly and it always ends up being a cluster fuck. Spaces are a standard for a reason.
The problem is that Python programmers tend to think the job of readability is done just by indentation. This is wrong, and it shows in all sorts of readability issues. Many of which are in official docs.
Same could be said about people that don’t think that indentation is not important for readability. Both are important, but if you really care about it defining an auto formatter and customising it for whatever consensus the team has is the only way to operate anyway.
Same could be said about people that don’t think that indentation is not important for readability.
You should really avoid double negatives. What you actually said was "Same could be said about people that think that indentation is important for readability“, which makes no sense in the context of the rest of your post.
And I’m not saying this just to be a dick about grammar. I mean, obviously I am, but not just that. If your English isn’t readable, then I don’t trust your Python, either.
My bad, I deleted part of the comment to rewrite it and forgot part of the original. And as you probably guessed I meant for it to be a single negative.
Good thing this is a casual forum and not a work environment where I would reread my code with care haha. There’s a reason linters exist in code editors, it’s for people like me.
Yeah pythonistas just group bad code into “non-pythonic”
It’s basically a credo if you aren’t familiar but Python is preeeetty explicit about formatting recommendations and whatnot so there’s really no excuse for poor Python practices/non-pythonic code
Then what the hell is this shit?
class argparse.ArgumentParser(prog=None, usage=None, description=None, epilog=None, parents=[], formatter_class=argparse.HelpFormatter, prefix_chars='-', fromfile_prefix_chars=None, argument_default=None, conflict_handler='error', add_help=True, allow_abbrev=True, exit_on_error=True)
This is a mess. None of this ascii vomit is useful or enlightening.
I got it from the argparse docs, which is a core module. But really, this is just the way Python docs are generated. Every class doc has an ascii vomit like this at the top, and my eyes hurt every time I see it.
I can’t see what you’re referring to
At least untill someone sneaks a tab in your spaced code, and you don’t know how to make your code editor show the difference, or it doesn’t support showing the difference.
That sound like a you problem really, detecting this is quite simple because any editor worth their salt will literally lint you an issue saying that tabs and spaces are mixed and the thing literally won’t be interpreted. If your editor can’t show white spaces, chances are you are one google question away from discovering that it actually can do that easily.
The more I code the less I mind the tool and the more I hate the ones using it wrong.
Only soln is to write Python to read the bitstream and detect several white spaces followed by a tab or vice versa
Python whitespace is child’s play compared to yaml, which I have the displeasure of having to interact with on the regular
Yaml is honestly just a terrible terrible format that is neither good for humans nor good for machines.
That’s true of basically all problems you deal with in programming. Unless you’re truly bleeding edge you’re working on a solved problem. It’ll be novel enough that you can’t out-of-the-box it but you can definitely use the tools and paths everyone else has put together.
Part of why I like kotlin as a language. It has so many tools built right in.
Language — person doesn’t know how to properly code in that language — problem.
i feel like javascript could also be
Problem -> solution -> 3 days pass -> all dependencies had breaking changes made -> problem
C:
Problem
→return Solution;
C++:
Problem
→const [auto]&& (Problem&& problem) noexcept(noexcept( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )) { return Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)); } -> decltype( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )
But this doesn’t return the
Solution
. You don’t invoke the lambda.(Or does C++ have implied returns now? Last I heard there was implied
move
)Actually I do; it’s the
{}
that initializes the lambda, and the parenthesis after invokes.That said, it would have been fun.
C:
return *(solution_t*)&problem;
Maximum optimization!
Latex: Problem -->
\def\please@#1#2#3#4{\e@kill#2#3{\me#1}#4@now}
-->You also need that usepackage just like python.
I got way too excited Lemmy parsed LaTeX for a second
Testing 123
$$ \sigma $$
aww…
Accurate. LaTeX is great, it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to “office suite”-style software. But every once in a while you just run into some bullshit that feels like it’s stuck in 1985 and it completely breaks your flow. I remember wanting to make a
longtable
where text in the “date” column would be rotated by 90 degrees to leave more horizontal room for the other columns. It took me tworotatebox
es, aphantom
, avspace
, ahspace
and 40 minutes of my life to get the alignment right. Would probably have taken a duckduckgo search and three clicks in Libreoffice.I still have no idea how to exit the build process. It tells I need to type
H
or\end
but it also just lies. I find the easiest way is to invokeCtrl-Z
and then kill the background process, and theyounglingschildrenYeah, what the hell is up with that? I always just
echo | pdflatex
to make it shut up and exit on error. Maybe one day I’ll learn how to actually use that interactive compilation thing, but not today lol.wait how does your hack work?
So there are many different commands that compile LaTeX, right?
pdflatex
,pdftex
,latexmk
, etc. But they all do that thing where they ask for your input as soon as they encounter an error, right? Well, if you just pipe an emptyecho
command to them, it notices thatstdin
has reached end-of-file, and gives up trying to ask the user for input, and just exits on first error. So instead ofpdflatex mydocument.tex
, you can doecho | pdflatex mydocument.tex
and it won’t ask you for input if it sees an error, it’ll just exit. There’s probably a “proper” way to achieve the same behaviour, but I can’t be arsed to read the docs.Speaking of stupid TeX hacks, at one point I had a script called
latex_compile_and_install_packages_until_it_works.sh
. It’s essentially a loop that repeatedly tries to compile a document, searches the output of the compiler for anything that looks like a missing package error, and pipes it tosudo tlmgr install
. The “fuck it” of package management, arbitrary code execution exploit included!(Sorry for the screenshot, I lost the original script in text form, probably for the better)
Haha that’s brilliant! I have a similar script for Conda, where it tries to install R packages by first looking in bioconductor and then trying the rejects through conda-forge, and then the rejects from that are compiled from source or just outright rejected.
I would have thought you would have needed a
(while :; do echo; done) | pdflatex
or ayes "\end" | pdflatex
, i.e. something that repeatedly generates output. It’s actually quite elegant that pdflatex checks if stdin is already EOFtries to install R packages by first looking in bioconductor and then trying the rejects through conda-forge, and then the rejects from that are compiled from source
Just do all of these in parallel to maximise the change of installing the correct version
btw what do you think about typst?
i only used it for simple stuff so far but it seems pretty fun and easy to useMy two cents, after years of Markdown (and md to PDF solutions) and LaTeX and a full two years of trying to commit to bashing my head against Word for work purposes, I’m really enjoying Typst. It didn’t take long to convert my themes, having docs I can import which are basically just variables to share across documents in a folder has been really helpful. Haven’t gone too deep into it but I’m excited to give it a deeper test run over the next little bit.
Never heard of it before, but might give it a try at some point. From the website, it seems like something halfway in between LaTeX and Markdown? Sounds exactly like what I need at times, tbh.
yeah it’s perfect for taking notes and stuff
Funnily enough I had a similar problem but I wanted text instead of a date. In the end I used a solution similar to yours and adjusted each cell entry manually for hours. Feels like there should be a lot simpler solution for this problem in LaTeX. Glad I don’t need to use it anymore…
u/[email protected] suggested Typst as an alternative to TeX. I gave it a try, and I’m loving it so far. It even has built-in support for the rotated text thing https://typst.app/docs/reference/model/table . I’ve only used it for notes/homework so far, but I’m looking forward to seeing how it fares for more serious typesetting tasks.
it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to “office suite”-style software
Especially the installation process
Should have been grep or awk or sed in shell.
JS is basically the Hydra from the Greek Mythology.
Though PHP is literally the problem had me lol.
OK rust made me laugh
Yeah that one got me too. Rust has tons of c libs wrapped in safe rust.
I was mainly thinking about how so many Rust projects advertise very loudly that they’re written in Rust. Like, they would have
-rs
in the name, or “in Rust” as part of their one-line description. You rarely see this kind of enthusiasms for the the language in other languages. Not a bad thing by the way! And also there’s the “rewrite it in rust” meme, where people seem to take perfectly functional projects and port them to Rust (again, not a bad thing! Strength in diversity!)Yeah, no python package has “py”, JavaScript “.js” or java “java”. None at all.
For Python I think there’s an actual point though: A lot of Python projects are user friendly wrappers for pre-compiled high-performance code. It makes sense to call something “py<SomeKnownLibrary>” to signal what the library is.
I’d even say Rust is python but gone through
format!("{}-rs", problem)
I never understood this logic:
“I know nothing about this subject, I’m gonna post a meme (a funny graphic usually about a specific topic, this one outlining the differences between languages) but I know nothing about the subject and will ask that nobody correct me or try to apply rationale here because I choose to be ignorant and have no interest in expanding my knowledge of the world and people around me, I just want people to tell me I’m funny and give me internet points”
To each their own ig
I believe the idea is to potentially induce a brief nasal snort possibly accompanied by a slight upward curling of the lips in those casually scrolling by. In other words, it’s a joke, being posted on a joke community.
A coding humor community, if you gotta post about it, you should probably expect it.
We’re adults, we can joke about stuff and also talk about stuff… unless you’re not which would still be okay because I wouldn’t be interested in discussion then
Hello JavaScript user 🙃
Ew.
Also, terrible attempt at a strawman, you didn’t even try lol. Unsurprising response tho from king shallow over here
Hello angry underpaid programmer
We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community. Less jokes about quitting vim and programming languages and more about every day funny issues.
We no longer have humor, it’s been beaten out of us by code reviews and merge conflicts.
People tried that on Reddit. We got a handful of jokes, but nobody had time to laugh of them or post new ones.
We had planned to get some memeing done but we had an all-hands right before sprint review, then sprint retro, then there was an “optional” product sync that we kinda had to go to, and then the team social, and that was basically our whole day.
Thought we might meme a bit at lunch, but there was a lunch-and-learn and it’s not like we were going to skip a free lunch.
We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community
to get an invide you must have at least 5 years of verifyable lemmy-experience
…but it’s funny (although it would’ve been funnier if C was “Problem -> Buffer Overflow”)
Yeah it’s a funny meme, was specifically pointing out the post text though not the meme specifically/directly
If you have never had a segmentation fault, then you have never programmed in C
DATA ABORT
@stevedidwhat_infosec @renzev I agree in principle but this meme is unironically accurate?
Again, I’m referring to OPs message. Not the meme itself, which was funny.
To the point that I’m doubting the OP’s non-knowledge.
He must know at least a lot of C++… But I disagree with the PHP one; it always transforms the problem, never leaves it alone. And transforms it very productively.
I never understood this logic
You’re looking for logic in a joke.
Do you question why Donald Trump, the pope and a kid are the only passengers on a plane that’s about to crash?
You’re misunderstanding my text.
The joke is funny, telling people not to respond because “it’s just a joke” is cringe.
We can talk about reality and also joke about stuff.
When did I ever tell people not to respond? Where am I being ignorant? I told people to not take the post seriously, because it is a joke post on a community about jokes. By all means, have discussion in the comments, silly or serious. I’ll gladly listen in and maybe learn something. Just don’t try to dissect silly things with serious arguments.
It was an over simplification for the sake of dramatic effect in our conversation, not that deep.
I also was under the wrong impression given this new info, thanks for clarifying. I really wasn’t mad or upset or anything like everyone keeps trying to gaslight me into thinking. Was just pointing out an observation I had…
Why is everyone wound so tight here in a joke community?
I bet it was an orgy.
Geez relax lol. Just downvote it and move on.
Why does everyone always assume you have to be fuming to bring up something goofy you saw lmao
Y’all are the ones who need to chill apparently
Because they themselves are fuming
if you don’t understand memes, you’re in the wrong place
Says the person posting the lemmy equivalent of the facebook copypasta after their comments.
This is not Reddit tho.